It's up on you

Months ago I decided to run my own blog with my thoughts which I was not sure I could put on another blog or web medium I was working for. It was decision to present what I was afraid to present or wasn't allowed to publicise , it was like bring things which occupied my mind to people. I wanted to display things and people who left truly message and mark on my life and my formation through last years.

You know, few years ago I went through realy hard times. I lost job, I lost long – time boyfriend, I lost everythng I depended on. I lost my faith in myself and I was pushed to start my life over. And this was that time when I was looking around for someone who would tell me how it could be, how it could look a like. Like...you know...it is not always simple.

Everyone has own life and way of living it. I understand that we all needs someone as a example. That is why I decided, nowadays, when is so much frustration around me, to put on my first – ever tryout of interview, or just simple conversation with someone abroad , someone across the ocean. It was with brilliant Vanessa Evigan. I have saved our email conversation and everything I was asking her and every answer from her until now and it truly helps me to look back at it and remind myself how great is life and how great are we all .

So I am here to share our Q&A from April , 2016. I hope it will help and put everyone of you back on the track in your life. Because you deserves the best.

It's funny how I started my own view on giving questions and most important for you in my opinion: THE LAST MESSAGE Vanessa GAVE for all of YOU

At first I wanna thank you for your help and good – will J. I try to make up questions what are not so common. Some of my thoughts are in ironic – fun way to keep people in good mood, not just ordinary reading. So from beginning:

I know you from movies, blogs, TV – series. I am big fan of series with comedian / comic background and sitcoms so it was not so hard to notice you. So...

1.Are you TV – viewer? Or was it common in your childhood or young age to watch sitcoms? How did you feel when you saw yourself in this position? Position of somebody who entertain people? (In many ways, not just in television, I used it just like example). Do you think you have sense of humor in your private life? What can entertain you personaly?


I didn’t watch a lot of TV growing up. My parents didn’t let me have a television in my room until I was 18. I remember getting more into watching TV when I was a little bit older. I always get uncomfortable when I have to watch myself on TV. I always feel like I “could have done better”. Lately the older I am getting the more I am confident in my work and am happy with my performance. I don’t have trouble entertaining myself at all! I would consider myself or a funny person more than a real serious person. I keep myself entertained by doing a lot of different things but mostly just keeping creative on a daily basis.

You seems to be really positive person to me. So..

2. What is your first thought you try to push in your head after waking up and getting up from your bed? Common in people mind is : Why have I wake up again and only thing what can help and change everything is coffee( like me, for example)

When I wake up in the morning I try to think of all the things I am grateful for. Like my family, my health, my friends, my relationship. I try to read something inspirational in the mornings or pray or doing meditation. We all have so much to be thankful for and sometimes it’s easy to forget that and be negative.

3.Were there some moments where you used to look above you and ( ironicaly) questionned: Why? Or „ Really?“And what did you do later with this moment? I ask because I know people who  goes meditate or just live that moment just because to show how they accept every test they gets and do you believe that in the end of every bad/hurting moment is act of strenghthening?

There are many moments where I ask myself “WHY”? Or why is the day going the way it is today. I try to again go back to gratitude when that happens. I have been through a lot of struggle in my life. Most people only see the good because I try to post positive messages for people to help uplift. I also try to be real with where I am in my life and on my journey. If i’m struggling I like to share that with people so if someone else is struggling they won’t feel alone.

4.What keeps you in good mood? 

 The things that keep me in a good mood are exercise, eating healthy, prayer, helping others, spending time with family and friends.

I see you are lover of nature and animals. So...

5.What place you visited, touched you the most? 

The place I visited that touched me most so far in my life was when I went to the Philippines last year. The village we spent most our days in was in La Jaja and it was magical. The children were the most incredible kids I have ever met and they melted my heart and I can’t wait to go back!

6.Is it hard to person who wants you to go with for some adventures,? Do you like adrenaline?

I love adventure and travel it does give me a rush!

7.What was your the biggest and precious experience in your life?

The most precious experience in my life so far was getting to spend my time helping the kids in the Philippines and then my travel to Thailand after that.

8.What animals do you like and have you some animal?

I love all animals. I would like to have a farm one day. I have 3 dogs in Nashville and our family dog in Los Angeles. There names are Dakota, Jesse, and Moose and in Los Angeles our dog is Marley.

 I think that every person in this world should be there for another people to help as much as he/ she can so I try to give other views to people on life and his funny sides, that every moment and experience has their funny side, or side what can make people stronger and more lighter and that nothing is so much bad or black. In the end of the day is another chance to wake up again. Same for kids, teenagers and  adults. I noticed your project LuvtheinnerU. I think too that with love everything seems to be easier and prettier. So..

9.Had you moment when you felt sad, unhappy, without love? Have you experience with no love to you personaly? I mean inside. Everyone has moments when they feel done. What did you do then? Did you met people who had complication to love not just others, but themselves alone? 

I started LuvtheinnerU because I want to help people find inner love for themselves. We are so often looking outward for love or putting it our appearance but that isn’t where the real love for yourself will ever come from, you have to find it from within. Learning that you are enough, that you are beautiful, learning to love the flaws about yourself. About 4 years ago, I had gone through a bad breakup that hurt me so bad I was desperate to not feel the pain anymore so I tried to turn it into a positive and work on myself and that is when I started LuvtheinnerU. I hope I can help people find that inner love for themselves.

10.How do you think they can change it? 

 I think the best way to learn to love yourself is first not to compare yourself to ANYONE. We are beautiful just as we are. I find the more I help others or do charity, it get’s me out of putting the focus on me and on to someone else. It takes time and practice. Doing positive affirmations is another way to really help change negative to positive.

Come to talk about another project you support. Boo2Bullying. I appreciate this. I think that bullying from teenagers to their clasmates or other kids is in increase, and for their growth and forming of their psychic is not good. So..

11.What do you find as the biggest influence on this kids or people who try to bully their friends or people who they do not like? How it can be stopped?

Boo2Bullying is a wonderful non profit that I support because I was bullied and it is a horrible thing that is happening everywhere to kids. It has to be stopped. Kids need to learn to love each other. We don’t all need to like each other but that does not mean that we have to be hurtful to anyone. We just choose not to be friends with certain people but come from a place of love always.

 In the end: What is the best therapy after long hard day for you? And...in case of your jewelry...I think it is really nice art and I admire it. Where do you get ideas? 

I think what helps me the most at the end of a long day is writing in a journal or reading positive books. Sitting for a few moments and taking alone time to quiet my mind. I like to make gratitude lists as often as possible. I think doing meditation can help as well. Sometimes even sitting on the couch with my love and our dogs and watching some of our favorites shows is a great way for me to unwind and let go of the day. LOTS OF WATER or tea! And rest!

Have you some message in your mind right now for people? (if not, do not worry. It is thing of reflection right now, not question)

I hope anyone reading this that is struggling can understand you are not alone. Actors, models, musicians, any one you may “look up to” we all have hard times and bad days and feel depressed. Understand that things we all may post are not always a direct reflection of how we are doing in our lives. You are not alone if you are struggling, I struggle a lot with sadness or depression, I also have a lot of wonderful days where I am happy, most those days are a choice, I choose to be happy and do good things for others and myself. Most important love yourself, give yourself a hug, and know everything is going to be ok :)